Darkness before the Light
by TechGirl0101
Summary: Some secrets are not meant to be kept. (Very dark themes to start). Reloaded chapter because I realized my page breaks didn't show up


Darkness before the Light

By: TechGirl0101

Rating: M

Warning: This Chapter contains abuse (sex, physical, and mental). First chapter is the darkest, and I promise to warn in the future if in future chapters. Please give it a shot. It's my first fic. I don't anything but the story line!

Chapter 1

Everyone has secrets. Some are nice and or funny. Then some secrets are scary or flat out horrible. My secrets are not enjoyable at all and fall into the latter two categories. It's a horrible nightmare that I can never wake up from. Most days I wish I were dead or that someone would take me away from everything that is bad in my life. I would give anything to be one of those carefree teenagers running through halls or making plans for the weekend, but I'm not. Most of my free time is spent practicing either my singing or dancing. Sometimes I can practice playing the piano or guitar but not often. I prefer my time to be taken up with those activities over what happens when I am not doing those things. Those other things are my secrets that I carry alone and one day hope to be free of. Unfortunately, it seems to be getting worse every day and not even school offers me any peace.

Usually, I am able to ignore it and pretend like everything is okay but not today. Not after last night. Last night was the worst it has ever been. I wasn't even sure if I would be able to walk today but again my body surprises me with unknown and untapped reserves. Sometimes, I wonder why I don't just leave or end it all. It's not like anyone would miss me. I'm not sure why or when this need started of wanting someone to care. No one has since my mom disappeared when I was six. After a few months, my dad's friend moved in with us and not to long after that rumors started about them being together. I became the faggot spawn after that to all the kids. Their parents told them to avoid me, and I was never invited to birthday parties or sleepovers because of it.

"HEY FREAK!" The feeling of cold razor blades attacking my face engulfs me instantly; I can feel the frozen beverage running down my entire body as the laughter stings my ears from all directions at my misfortune. Everyone is laughing at me again as I slip; even my glee teammates that are supposed to be like a family, as I run towards the bathroom to clean up.

Locking the bathroom door, I discard my sweater and t-shirt revealing to the mirror what I hide from everyone else. My stomach looks like a rainbow of purples, blacks, greens, and yellows. I'm sure my back is worse. Sighing, I get to work on cleaning up from my daily school torture. The slushy soaked all the way through to my bra this time that was the only thing I didn't pack a spare of. At least I know no one will come in to check on me and see the secrets that I hide.

I probably would of been cleaned and made it to glee on time if every single movement my body did didn't hurt, but I'm only five minutes late. Mr. Shue is probably not even there yet anyway. My luck like every day is not with me, he is already addressing the group when I enter. He stops addressing everyone and looks to me. "You're not being a very good leader by showing up late Rachel." He states. I see the others in the room snicker and smirk at his comment. They know why I'm late, and I attempt to inform him why, but he stops me and continues. "Take a seat and if you can't be on time then we can find another co-captain. You should learn from Finn about being a leader." Finn puffs out his chest at the complement, I am usually never late. Plus I'm the only one that actually tries to come up with an actual set list for the group. Realizing that a rebuttal is pointless, I nod and take my seat in the corner away from the rest of the group.

"Who would like to perform first today?" The curly headed glee coach exclaims excitedly while clapping his hands together. His smile lessens when he realizes they're no volunteers. "Rachel?" I'm always his fallback person but not today. "Sorry Mr. Shue, I don't have a song I wish to sing." Returning my focus back to my binder, I can hear the whispers about me declining a chance to sing. "RuPaul being all dramatic again, I wonder how long before she quits so she can realize once and for all we don't need her." Santana's stage whispers with the purpose of being heard and the loneliness that encompasses me multiplies with each agreement heard in the room. A few stray tears escape the prison behind my eyes; I refuse to actually let them see me cry. Unfortunately, the unholy trinity sees me wiping them away and their leader informs every one of my tears. "Go cry to your loving fathers man-hands! We don't want you here." Mr. Shue just stands there doing nothing to stop all the harassments being thrown at me by the group. Even Finn, who supposedly loved me at some point, is too busy laughing at me.

Having enough, I gather my things and leave the room. I can still hear the insults as I shut the door behind me. The tears break completely free before I even make it out of the school. My strong confidante facade diminishing with each tear that escapes. The makeup that I used to conceal the damage done to my face is being removed with each passing stroke of my hand. The black eye and bruised cheek are visible for anyone to see as I walk away from the school alone. Always alone.

In the past, I always told everyone how amazing my fathers where. I told anyone who would listen hoping that they would see beyond my parents being gay and befriend me. Stupidly, I told myself that if I had a friend that they would provide me with an escape a safe place to go when it got bad. The only thing I manage to do was to paint myself into a corner. No one ever questions me about my home life, even when I had a noticeable limp or trouble catching my breath. No one cares what happens to me ever. Nobody ever truly looked at me to see the pain that I was in even once.

I can feel the pain spread and increase through my entire body with each step I take back to my other nightmare, the original nightmare. It would be so easy just to step out into the road and wait for a car to finish me off that way I never have to return to either place. I could never take my own life no matter how much suffering I am going through. Realizing that I am close to my park, I decide to head to the there for a while to clear my head and prepare for when I walk through that door again. They'll be waiting for me. They always are.

Reaching the park, a small amount of relief washes over me as this place has sort of become my safe haven, even though it's not that safe. Making my way over to the swings, I drop my bag on the ground before claim one of them as my own. Slowly swinging back in forth, I watch my feet dragging in the dirt. The Mary Janes that they force me to wear gathers some of the dirt with each passing swoop. When I was little, I use to pretend that I would run away and live in this park until I moved to New York and became a star. Recently that future seems further and further away.

Humming a tune, I try to let everything that has built up in me go and move on. It's hard because there never seems to be an end in sight. Sometimes I think I am doomed to this life until I die.

"Deep slow breaths" is my mantra I repeat in my head to calm down; however, today breathing is extremely hard. Carefully I leave the swing and grab my bag, I need to be home at the same time or they will realize I walked out of glee practice again. After walking another twenty minutes, I'm face to face with the front door of my home. My whole body shakes with the fear of what I will be met with on the other side. I pray, to whatever god that will listen, that today will be a peaceful day. The voice in the back of my mind that is telling me to run is now screaming full force. My slight hesitation is enough time for the door to open, and the angry eyes of my father, Hiram Berry, greet me instead of the wood door. At least it wasn't Leroy.

No words are spoken; he just moves aside allowing me to pass by. Once the door is closed the small amount of safety that I felt at the park will be lost. The clicking sounds of the door and the lock seal my doom. The neighbors won't check no matter how loud I scream, and my punishment will be worse if I make a sound. The last click sounds and my eyes close instantly while waiting for the first strike. With each passing second, I fool myself into thinking it won't happen this time. He likes having me wait to see me physically shake with fear of what will happen and where the first blow will land. "Turn around" holding my breath, I turn to meet his eyes again. "I received a phone call a few minutes ago..." fear radiates through me with each word. "Mr. Shue, your glee coach, said you walked out of practice today after showing up late." Gulping, I realized I should have listen to that voice in my head that said run. He is standing so close to me that attempting to make an escape is an impossible task. Before I can blink, his hand is in my hair pulling my head back violently. "Go to the basement and wait for us." I don't move. I can't move. He still has ahold of me. "GO!" He releases my hair and manages to land a punch to my already bruised face sending me to the floor. Clutching my damaged side, I stare at the stranger in front of me. "GO NOW!" He finishes with a kick to my ribs and the snap I hear tells me I have at least one broken rib.

Half crawling and half sliding, I make my way towards the basement door as fast as possible. Once I reach the door, I beg one last time with my eyes to be allowed to go to my room instead. My silent pleas fall on death ears. "Get in there" chills run through me with how cold and calm he says that. Knowing that there is no use, I make my way down each step slowly until I reach the bottom of our basement that was never completely renovated. The cold concert and half walls do nothing to warm me or calm my fears. The light flicks off, and I am met with darkness once again. Last summer, I was kept down here for a week straight with very little food and water. Ever since then I have been afraid of the dark. They know this and use it against me often.

Pulling into myself, I try to force my mind to think of anything else at the moment. It doesn't work. The darkness is too much for me to fight. My tears coat my knees as I wait to see what fate has in store for me at the hands of my fathers. It feels like hours pass, before I can hear them upstairs. It sounds like they are enjoying dinner as I sit in the dark hungry and cold. Once again, I am reminding that I am not wanted or loved. My sweater and skirt that I have on provide me with little warmth as the temperature continues to drop with each passing minute. Part of me wishes, they would hurry and punish me how they see fit then I could go to my room where I have a blanket to help with the cold.

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My life has been so much better since my mother kicked my father out and I moved back in. She really seems to be making an effort to ensure my happiness. It's nice to actually feel loved and wanted for once in my life.

"Mom! Santana and Brittney are coming over, okay?" I yell into the kitchen as I enter the house. "Okay honey. Are they staying for dinner too?" Entering the kitchen, I smile at my mother preparing dinner. "Probably" I state as I steal a couple of vegetables from her as a snack. "Lucy Quinn Fabray" She fake huffs. "You'll ruin your dinner. Get out of here until I call you." I giggle grabbing another cucumber slice on my way out. The doorbell sounds before I can make it up the stairs. Turning back towards the front door, I go to greet my friends.

"Hey guys. Mom said you can stay for dinner." I tell them as we make our way to my bedroom. They both nod in agreement. "I always loves me some Mama Fabray cooking" Santana states rubbing her stomach for show.

Once inside the safety on my room, Santana brings up what we all have been thinking about since glee practice. "I can't believe she actually cried. It was the funniest shit ever." She rolls over on my bed laughing. Rolling my eyes at her, I push her over so I can sit down. Brittney still hasn't move from standing by the dresser. She seems deep in thought. "What are you thinking about B?" I ask. I hate it when the naturally happy go lucky blonde is sad. "I think we took it to far today. I don't like making people sad. It makes me sad." Her eyes are Santana's kryptonite because her laughter dies instantly. "We're sorry Britt Britt. We promise not to be so mean next time." She shakes her head at S's promise. "It's not just that." A sigh escapes her lips trying to find the right words. "Rachel always looks so sad." I think Brittney is confused because she is always smiling when she's walking down the hallway, and I tell her as such. "It's fake Q. Her smile never reaches her eyes." Biting her lip, Santana and I both realize she has her determined face on. "I want to be…no I want us to be her friends for real. Not fake friends." She lets the bomb drop. I see Santana about to refuse until she sees Brittney on the verge of tears and agrees to Brittney's request. They both stare at me waiting for my reply. My impersonation of a guppy must not be enough for them as my mouth opens and closes trying to formulate an answer. Knowing in the end, I will go along with them no matter what, I agree to the plan too. "YAY!" B's face lights up instantly and is tackling us on the bed. The rest of her words are muffled between laughter but Santana stops her and asks her what the last thing she said was. "I said now Q can stop denying her feelings for Rachel." My eyes widen as the blush creeps up my face. "I don't" I tell them. "Yes you do Q. Why else would you single her out of everyone freshman year. You have a crush and your way of showing it is like a boy on the playground who pulls the girls hair." The mirth hiding behind Santana's eyes tells me she agrees too. Instead of arguing with them, I decide to ignore it. They'll see with time that I don't have any feelings romantic or friendly for Rachel Berry.

"GIRLS! DINNER IS READY!" My mom shouts up the stairs, and we make our way down.

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Finally the light is turned on, blinding me until I adjust again. Leroy is standing in front of me when my eyes finally focus. His dark brown eyes bore into me burning my skin with just a glance. Pulling further into myself to seem small as possible, I'm scared. "Strip" He commands. "Please no." I beg silently into my knees. Sneering he grabs me by my hair and pulls me to my feet. "The more you fight me. The worse it will be for you." Once he releases me, I slowly start to remove my sweater and skirt and shoes and socks until I am left standing in my bra and panties. He turns away from me and I notice the rope in his hands for the first time. He walks towards a hook on a piece of wood on the roof. He runs the rope through the loop and ties one end off on the workbench. Making slipknots on the free hanging end, he calls me over. He slips the rope over each of my wrists and pulls it tight enough to keep me in place. He leaves the basement once I'm secure, and I start to tug on the rope hoping to loosen it so I can escape. It's no use; he has it too tight with not enough slack to give. I'm trapped. A few moments later, he returns with 2 large books. Placing them in front of my feet, he instructs me to stand on them. I refuse but receive a fist to my abdomen. When he asks again, I comply right away. Once I balance on top of the books, I feel him tighten the ropes even more. My arms already stretched painfully above me, and I'm not sure how much more I can take of this.

He stares at me admiring his handy work. "Tell me. How does it feel?" My eyes cloud, with unshed, tears as I whisper "It hurts." He just smirks at me before leaving me alone again. A few moments later, I hear footsteps on the stairs again. He's not alone this time. Hiram has joined him. "How long are going to leave her like that?" The shorter man asks. "Like that? Not long." I silently sigh at this answer knowing I will be free of this soon. I missed the grin on his face though. My father takes a seat like he waiting for a show, and I gulp because he always enjoys watching. Focusing on father, I forgot to keep an eye on Leroy. The sharp blade is pressed into my side, and I look up at the man who placed it there. "You're an ungrateful, spoiled, selfish brat, who needs a lesson in humility. " The knife presses further into me and because of my binding; I am unable to move away from it. The point scratches my skin as he slides up my body and to my bra. Before I can even blink, he has cut my bra off of me. My breasts are on display for him and my father. Hanging my head in shame, I fight my tears back. The sharp blade travels south down my body and I hold my breath as it reaches my underwear. The last object I had covering a part of me gone. Completely exposed to them, I shake in fear of what's next. His hand glides against my skin replacing the knife as he traces over my entire body touching places that are private to me. "I have a surprise for you." He whispers into my ear. His hand roughly tortures my breasts for another minute before he moves away. He looks down to the books I'm standing on. Panic shoots through me at the idea of him removing those books. They are the only things keeping from being stuck on my tiptoes. The laugh that I have come to fear most echoes through the basement right before the books are taken away, and I am left standing on my toes. The strain on my arms and shoulder is too much to handle. Crying out, I beg them to lower me down some. "Please daddy." The laugher only grows with each plea. "Listen here brat; this is your punishment for walking out on a teacher today. Your punishment for leaving the house in a mess before school comes later." The tall dark skin man growls into my ear before slapping me across the face and busting my lip.

Leroy steps away again to gather more items, and I turn to my father begging him with my eyes to let me go. It was a pointless endeavor; he enjoys watching this too much to help his only daughter. When my nightmare returns, he has wire and something else behind him. When he moves out of the way, I see electric burner heating up. "No don't. Please don't do this. I'm sorry please don't burn me." I cry out with everything I have left. Both men remain silent at my pleas. He grabs a chair and sits in front of me placing the wire on the burner heating it up. I see it getting hotter by the second. "I figured you needed a daily reminder of what you are." He shrugs like it is common sense. "Please…" He turns and grabs the red glowing wire with a glove and presses it to my skin just below my belly button. "AAAHHHHH!" A blood-curdling scream escapes my lips. He continues to press it to my skin after it heats up over and over again. The pain makes me wish I were dead.

When he finally finishes, he grins at his handy work. The word selfish is branded into my skin permanently. Ice would be wonderful to apply to my burns but I keep my thought to myself this time in case he gets any other ideas.

Closing my eyes, I pray for this to end soon. My whole body radiates with pain with each shallow breath that I take. "Honey, do you think we should leave her like this all night?" The wicked glint in his eyes sends cold chills down my spine. My father, I'm not even sure why I still call him that, is actually thinking about it. "Let her down afterwards. Otherwise one of us will have to stay home tomorrow with her because she won't be able to go to school. Finish her punishment first though. I'm going to bed." He gets up and leaves me at the mercy of my nightmare.

As soon as the door to the basement closes, a loud crack followed by a searing pain erupts across my back. "That's one." The first one is followed by a succession of many more. My hands are turning purple from the tightness of the rope as my body hangs since I'm unable to hold myself up any long. Just when I think I am going to lose my hands, I hit the ground hard with no warning. The snicker by the workbench grabs my attention for a moment before I curl into myself hoping it's finally over.

I am never that lucky though, without warning, I am pulled off the floor and thrown into the workbench. The sound of the zipper and pants being removed clues me into my fate. "Don't move or it'll be worse" is whispered to me before I can move away. A single tear escapes as I feel him press into me.

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"So what happened at school today girls?" My mother asks from her seat at the table. The three of us look to each other, while Santana and I shrug, Brittany blurts out about Rachel leaving in tears during the Glee meeting. The concern on my mother's face digs a little deeper into my guilt. "What happened?" The motherly concern is apparent. Brittany answers for us before we can stop her. "She was slushied on the way to Glee which caused her to be late and then Mr. Shue yelled at her for it. He also said that he would remove her co-captain title if it happened again." Thinking we would have time to take over the story was a mistake because there is no stopping the tall blonde when she gets going. "After she declined to sing today, she was called out for being over dramatic and when she went to hide her tears, which were pointed out too." Finishing her rant, she sips her drink and finishes off by saying. "I don't like her sad, so we are going to befriend her to cheer her up." The older blonde version of me smiles a similar one to mine and states that she is happy we are going to help her and that she would like to meet this girl. I agree with her and catch a soft giggle across the table from Santana.

Well school should be interesting tomorrow. People are either going to think we went crazy or are planning a cruel prank against Rachel. Most will think the latter.

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Morning comes too soon as a boot kicks me in my abused stomach, waking me from my sleep on the basement floor. He never did let me go to me room. The sudden shock to my system caused me to jump and hiss in pain from the movement. "Move your ass brat. School starts soon" is grumbled at me before he retreats upstairs. I realize I am still naked and my clothes from yesterday are nowhere to be found. Defeated, I make my way out the basement with nothing but my bruises, cuts, and scares covering me.

The smell of food makes me forget about my lack of clothing for a moment. I haven't eaten in three days. Taking a chance, I ask "may I have something to eat?" Biting my lip, I wait for their response. Leroy looks up and glares at me, and I am instantly reminded of my lack of clothes. Attempting to cover myself with hands and arms, I wait. "Get ready for school, and we'll think about it" is muttered out between bites of their breakfast. Nodding, I leave and ascend more stairs to my room and bathroom. The clothes they picked out for me to wear today are hanging on the closet door. The animal sweater and skirt make me cringe at the sight of them every time I see them.

Entering the bathroom, I get my first look at the damage done to me. Below my belly button is swollen and inflamed from the burns. My left side is completely black and the slightest touch sends shooting pains through my entire body. I'm barely able to get a glimpse of my back in the mirror but what I see is just one bloody mess.

Showering as fast as I can, I make sure to pay extra attention to some areas trying to remove him from my body. After getting dressed, which caused a great deal of pain, I attempt to cover up all the physical signs of my nightmare.

Downstairs, I find a note that said "Enjoy!", and a bread roll. Slowly, I pull off small pieces of the bread and savior the small amount food entering my system. Grabbing my bag, I winch, when I realize it is too much for me to carry today. Sighing to myself, I take my notebook and pen out before I hide my bag in the closet and slowly make my way to school. The pain that each step causes brings tears to my eyes. I just hope no one bumps into me today because I know I can't handle it.

Like every day the school is busting at the seams with teenagers goofing off and enjoying life. Hoping to become invisible, I put my head down and make my way towards the front doors. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice them watching me from the bench outside the school. However, this time it's not like normal. They seem to be really looking at me for the first time. I can see the cogs turning in Quinn's and Santana's head at what could be wrong with me. Maybe I'm wrong though, and they are just plotted their next scheme against me.

Once inside the school, I notice everyone staring at me waiting for the first slushy to hit as I make my way to class. Ignoring my classmates, I make my way through the halls to first period. The shear amount of will it took not to hiss out in pain every time I was touched was almost impossible. Finally, I make it to my classroom.

Entering Spanish class first, I take my normal seat slowly not to actually touch any part of the table with my body. Once seated, I work on reeling in my emotions not to show how much pain I am actually in before everyone else arrives. Leaving class is another story. I'm not really sure I can do it.

My thoughts are interrupted by a cough, and I look up to find all three of them looking at me. "Berry, move to the back table." Santana orders me. "This is my seat." My confidence is lacking throughout my statement. "Don't care. Move." None of them move as they wait for me to get up. I grab my notebook and pen and will myself up without showing the hurt. Holding my breath as I move from my current spot to the back as requested, I bite back my screams of pain. I refuse to turn around and look at them. I am not sure what they have planned for me, but it can't be anything good.

I stop at the back table and wait for them to tell me which seat they would like me to take, so I don't have to move again. "Sit by me, Rach!" Brittany pulls me by my wrist and a small hiss escapes my lips when her hand touches my bruised wrist. Three sets of eyes are on me with my slip. "Are you hurt?" Worried blue eyes meet mine for the first time, and I lie with ease. "I'm okay. I just… I just fell during dance class last night." I hope the other two do not catch onto my hesitation though. "Okay!" The bubbly blonde takes her seat and waits for me to take mine. I join her and wait for my pending doom. Santana takes Brittany's other side which means Quinn will be sitting next to me. That thought alone causes me to freeze. She doesn't say anything at all to me which eases some of my fear; however, hazel eyes are focused on my every move and that worries me more than anything.

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Well step one is complete even if Santana went at it the wrong way. I guess a win is a win. I remember telling them Rachel was happy yesterday and Brittany correcting me. I can't believe I missed how much sadness shows in her eyes. The feeling of loneliness that she must feel every day is the same I felt last year when I lost everything due to the pregnancy.

A commotion at the door interrupts my thoughts, all the gleeks are shocked by the sight of Rachel sitting with us. Then one by one they all start to get grins on their faces at thought of a prank being pulled. Funny thing is though; the prank is on them because there isn't one.

The bell ringing brings them out of their stupor, and they find their seats while still whispering about what might be happening.

"Alright class, we have a lot to do this morning." Mr. Shue walks in late as usual not looking at anyone. "Who wants to go firs…?" He trails off as he realizes no one is paying attention to him or looking his way. Everyone is focused on the four of us in the back of the room. He looks at us and frowns. I guess he doesn't trust us either.

After class, Rachel attempts to bolt from us and the room. However, I noticed, and I'm sure Santana did, the flash of pain across her face as she moved. She disappears before we can blink. "Hey Q, you saw that too? Right?" I nod and chew on my bottom lip as I mull over what it could mean.

The rest of the day goes by in a blur. Each class we share with the tiny diva, we force her to sit with us. Then as soon as the bell rings she is off again before we can say anything to her. The same look crosses her face each time too we notice. By lunchtime she is nowhere to be found, and our plan to question her fails. We decide to try and corner her after glee.

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Today has been surreal, if not weird, to say the least. Quinn, Santana, and Brittany have made it point to sit with me in every class that we share. I also haven't been slushied either. It's really scary actually because they might notice something, and my perfect lie will be lost. More than likely, they are planning on humiliating me in front of the whole school again. My plan to run and hide between classes and lunch has worked so far, but glee is my main concern and in there I will have nowhere to hide.

The last bell rings, and I pretend to take my time collecting my single folder and pen. I'm dreading going to glee, but I fear going home more. So I fight through the pain and head to the choir room. My steps are small and slow. Running between classes has depleted my small amount energy and lack of food isn't helping either. I just hope I get a break from the torture for one night, so my body can recover some.

Sighing, I enter room and realize almost everyone is already seated. The three of them are signaling me to sit with them. Everyone stares as I make my way to my tormentors knowing I have no other options. It's not hard to notice the snide comments muffled as I walk by and cross looks I receive from most of the others in the room. "Hey Rach!" Brittany beams at me but doesn't touch me. I'm grateful for the lack of contact too. I have nothing left in me to hold back the scream if touched in the wrong place. My back and stomach are on fire. My wrists are throbbing from the rope last night, and my sides hurt every time I breathe. Other things hurt too, but I refuse to think about them. It brings up memories I would rather completely forget about. Mr. Shue walks in before the other two can say anything about my lack of response.

"Hey everyone!" He claps his hands together to get everyone's attention. "Couple of things before we start. First, Rachel, I had meeting with your fathers today…." After that, I zoned completely out. They are going to kill me or at least make me wish I was dead. Different tortures are running through my head that they could inflict on me. "Rachel" it's whispered but somewhere far away in my mind. "Rachel" it's louder and closer now. "Rachel, are you okay?" I'm finally back in the chorus room and worried hazel eyes are staring at me. A pale hand reaches out to touch me and I flinch away.

"Everyone get in groups and start working" The curly hair idiot walks into his office. Not realizing what he has just done to me. "Let's go somewhere else to discuss what we are going to do." The brunette of the trio announces. I breathe thinking they are going to finally leave me alone. "Come on Rachel!" Brittany yells at me to follow. Closing my eyes, I count to three before getting up to follow them. The rest of the group watches us leave with interest but says nothing.

I end up in the Cheerio locker room before I even realize where they have taken me. The prank must be playing out in here. Closing my eyes, I brace for whatever they've chosen to do to me.

"What … What are going to do to me?" The fear is easily heard in my voice.

"Not doing anything Berry but working on music for glee." Santana replies "Also we want to know what's going on." She changes posture and crosses her arms. The two blondes in the room take up a similar stance.

"Nothing is going on with me, I am worried about what Mr. Shue could have told my fathers though. I don't wish to be grounded." I lie easily. A grounding would be wonderful compared to what I am going to get. They all nod their heads, but I see doubt in the shorter blonde's features. I'm just glad she doesn't push it.

"So what song are we going to perform?"

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She's lying to us. It's really obvious too. The fear that washed over her features in the choir room when Shue said he had a meeting with her fathers was enough to make me tremble. Looking over at S, she doesn't believe a word of it either. How did we miss all these signs? She's hurting, and it seems like someone might be hurting her too. I wish she would open up and talk to us or someone. I guess this is mostly my fault. I made her a social leper at school. She has no one because of the bullying and slushies.

"So what song are we going to perform?" Just like that she draws the attention away from the giant unanswered question on the tip of my tongue.

She relaxes a little when she realizes we are not going to question her further, and this wasn't some joke to get her alone to throw slushies at her. A small smile breaks past her lips at something the bubbly blonde says beside me. It's the first real smile, I think I've seen from her, and it's nice.

Time really flies when you're having fun, I realize it's almost dark out. "We should probably stop for today. It's almost 6. Rachel do you need…" Instantly the color drains from her face. The fear that was replaced with laughter as returned tenfold.

"I got to go. I got to go" She grabs her folder and stands up fast to leave. "Aaaagh" She falls back down holding her stomach. Tears have gather in her eyes. "Rachel?" Brittany whimpers out.

"Berry? Rachel?" The concern in Santana's voice is enough to make me realize I didn't imagine it.

"Rach?" Slowly reaching for her after none of us receive replies. She flinches away again just like in the choir room.

"I have to go. I'm in so much trouble." She hasn't heard us. She's up and out the door holding her stomach before we even realize what's happening.

We all stare at the door looking for answers unsure of what just happened, but I know for a fact she's been hurt. By the time we snap out of our daze, she's gone. Looking over at S and B, I realize none of us know where she lives or what direction to go in once we leave the school. We decide to all go back to my place and discuss our next step. I just pray she is okay, and we see her tomorrow at school.

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Running is next to impossible; I've collapsed several times during my journey already. Scrapes and bruises cover my hands and knees by the time, I make it to the front door. Attempting to catch my breath, I reach for the doorknob to enter the house. Before I can even twist it, the door snaps open instantly and I'm met with two sets of angry eyes. Gulping slowly, I realize that I am in serious trouble.

"Rachel. Rachel. Rachel." Leroy shakes his head at me while turning around. Hiram has already pulled me inside and trapped me between them. Shaking and down casted, I beg them to forgive me and not to hurt me. My pleas fall on deaf ears once again, and a single tear escapes my eye as I feel my personal space decrease. His large hand threads through my hair, and I try to hold my tremors at bay.

"Your teacher called us in for a meeting today, Mr. Shuster?" I nod my head but never make eye contact. My eyes stay glued to the floor. His hand travels down around my face before grabbing and squeezing my jaw. He forces me to look at him. "Do you know what it was about?" Unable to move, I whisper "no." His hand squeezes tighter with each passing second, but I have no idea what I did to warrant him calling my fathers.

Hissing in my face, the tall dark man answers for me "he said you are not a team player that you don't allow others to have a say. Is that true? He also said that you are no longer the co-caption of the club." It won't matter what I say, neither of them will believe me. My tears bust free from behind my eyes and I plead with them. It's because of them that I beg for each solo or a lead in a number. I'm punished for each one I don't get. My fathers want me to be star and show all the idiots in this town that they can raise an amazing daughter. Their words not mine. I only beg for them because my life depends on it.

Before I can blink back any more tears, Leroy sends me flying into the wall. "You proved that you are a selfish bitch today. It's a good thing I marked you isn't it?" He closes in on me again. I look to my father, who is still standing by the door, and realize he will not help me. "Please" I cry out trying to stand. All the abuse my body took yesterday and the day before as left me helpless today. "You are going to wish you were dead when I get through with you because not only did your teacher rat you out, you came home late, and the house is dirty." He kicks me again, and I gasp for air that I can seem to get. "Strip! Now!" Looking between both of them, I beg them to let me be. "Strip!" Rough hands pull me off the floor. Slowly, I remove my sweater, skirt, knee socks, and shoes. "No, I said strip! Remove the bra and underwear too."

"But …." Stinging sensation on my cheek stops my rebuttal. Realizing, I have no choice, I remove my last two pieces of clothing. "Part of your punishment is that you lost all rights to clothes in this house for the unforeseeable future. Also no food either until you earn it back." My stomach growls, and I remember that I've only had a bread roll to eat this morning.

My dad, Hiram, takes my clothes and throws them in laundry room before locking the door behind him. I hear the buzzard on the oven go. "Food's ready honey." My dad shouts. "Go to the kitchen" he points to the door. As I walk past him, I try to cover myself with my hands. "Don't!" My head snaps backwards from his grip in my hair. "I repeat. Do not cover yourself." Slinging me forward on to the ground, I fight through the pain and make my way into the kitchen. The food smells wonderful, and I'm starving. "Kneel there and don't move or say a word." He points next to the trash bin where a broom handle is laying. "Your knees go on the handle. Understood."

Making my way over there, I slowly kneel down as requested and realize how painful this punishment really is. Between my hunger pains increasing from smelling the food and now my knees, I hope I'm not stuck here very long. Slowly they make their plates filled with vegetables, pasta, and breads before retrieving a bottle of wine from the fridge. Dad pours them both a glass before they sit down. Watching from my spot of the floor, I can't help but want to join them. To be smiling and laughing about whatever funny thing occurred today at work or school. The feeling of a full stomach would be nice, no matter how foreign it might actually be to me. Instead, I'm reminded of how unwanted I really am as the pain in my knees increase with each passing second.

They seem to be really taking their time tonight to eat too. At least I'm not in the basement again. I'll take that a small miracle. I try not to watch them eat; it only increases my hunger. Their small talk is just static noise to me as I try to focus on anything but them and the pain that I am in. At least 30 minutes passes by before I hear chairs sliding against the floor. Looking at them, my tear stained face begs to be able to move from the broom handle on the floor. I'm sure my knees are bruised all the way to the bone at this point. A dark shadow blocks the light in front of me, and I can tell who it is by the scent of his aftershave without looking up. "Please" barely escapes my lips. "I've only done what you asked of me. You said you wanted me to be star. Please don't punish me."

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Santana and Brittney left a little while ago to go home, but I can't seem to get her out of mind. The scene of her on the floor and screaming in pain is on a constant loop, and I'm not sure what to do about it. The three of us could not figure out a plan we all agree on. Logically, mine was probably the sanest one, I said to report possible abuse to a teacher. Santana was fast to jump in that we can't confirm that, but I know it deep down and so does she. Brittany's idea to kidnap her might actually be an option if she won't open up and talk to us.

Focusing on the ceiling, instead of closing my eyes, I keep debating with telling someone about what is going on. Rachel doesn't trust any of the teachers at that school. They've never helped her once with the slushy attacks. Mr. Shue should be the obvious solution, but he has failed more than any other adult in that school. Santana idea of storming into their house and confronting her parents would have been great if we knew where she lived.

"Quinnie! I'm home"

As soon as I hear her voice, I think of telling her what I found out. Santana's previous statement reminds me that we are not sure and that false claims could cause serious issues. However, I can't get that tiny voice out of my head saying to tell her as I make my way down the stairs.

"Hey mom" escapes my lips once I reach the bottom step. My tone doesn't convey happiness, and my mom picks up on it instantly. "What's wrong? Something I can help with?" Her expression softens waiting for a reply. I bite my lower lip in debate of how to answer her.

Without a word, she grabs my hand and pulls me into the kitchen. "Sit. I'm going to make us some hot chocolate so we can talk." I nod my head and take my seat at the counter waiting for her to finish. A few minutes later a mug is being placed in my hands, and I rather focus on that than her. "Talk to me, Lucy. Please." Use of my real name causes my eyes to snap to hers and all I see is love and concern in them.

"Remember last night at dinner? About Rachel?" I ask. She nods, and I know there is no turning back now.

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"You're an embarrassment to this family!" He screams in my face causing me to flinch away. "Don't you dare move away from me, you ugly piece of shit!" He takes hold of my shoulders and pushes me further down onto the broom handle. A small scream escapes beyond my lips from the pain. "No one wants you! Do you hear me?" I fight to hold my tears at bay. I don't want him to see me cry. "Such a waste. You will be nothing in life but a burden." The anger is building in him with each passing moment. "You already are a burden to us. You are not even a person. You are nothing but scum." Words defiantly hurt more sometimes and the pain caused by them never goes away.

"Get up and I want this kitchen spotless!" He finishes with slap to the side of my head. They both leave me alone in with my thoughts. My tears flow freely as I try to stand up to begin my next punishment. The kitchen is a total mess, and they have made sure not even crumbs are available for me to steal. Slowly, I start with the dishes before moving on with the rest of the kitchen area.

It took me over an hour to completely clean the kitchen to Leroy's standards. I'm hurting and just want crawl under my blanket and hide till everything is gone. I make my way into the living room but glance at the front door, as the thought of running crosses my mind, to inform them the kitchen is clean. Project Runway is blaring from the TV, my father looks to me for an answer. I nod my head that I am done. For a second, I think they are going to send me to my room. "Kneel. There and face us." He points to a spot by the coffee table. Doing as I am told, I try to hide my discomfort at still being naked. "Hands behind your back and lock them together." Their eyes don't leave me, and the word burned into my stomach is on display along with my bruised side. "Don't move or talk unless instructed, otherwise you will be punished." I will myself not to move an inch with the sounds of RuPaul in the background.

Closing my eyes, I try to imagine my life differently if my mother was still here with me. I like to believe that she would take me away from all this, and I could have a normal life with normal clothes. Sometimes my dreams are all I have, and I fear they will never come true. My mind can only focus for so long from the pain. The TV provides a time scale for me, and I know I've been kneeling for at least an hour in my thoughts. My thighs are on fire and my knees are screaming for me to get off them. Without realizing it, I wobble slightly.

Luck is never on my side it seems "You moved!" Leroy hisses at me. I gulp because I don't want to be punished. Not sure of what to do, I hold fast hoping it will only be a quick strike. He does neither. He whispers something to my father before getting up and leaving the room. My eyes lock with the similar brown eyes of my father but unlike mine his seem to have an evil glint behind them. In that moment, I realize that I have no one. My father isn't going to help me and that he isn't my father anymore. I am completely alone. My last bit of hope for him to save me is gone.

"Lay across the table width ways on your chest and don't move." Looking over to the dark monster, I can see he is hiding something behind his back. I move over to the table and try to lay on it as instructed. "Let your head hang off the end." I once again do as I am told because my only hope is that it kills me so my suffering ends. "Spread your legs apart."

"Wider!"

Once I am positioned the way he wants. I grip the table ends hard out of fear. "You move, and I will make it even worse." I don't even get a second to breathe before I feel the sting of the belt buckle tearing through my already battered back. Strike after strike litter my back from my shoulders to just above my knees. I know I am bleeding. I can feel it running down all over.

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"Yes. I remember. Did she not want to be friends or something?" Shaking my head that isn't what was bothering me. "Well then, what's wrong and how can I help?" She stares at me and waits for my answer. The issue is I'm not sure how to answer it.

"I … no, I mean … we" I shake my head at my jumbled thoughts. "We tried to talk to Rachel today. We even made her sit with us during class." Stopping there, I'm not sure how to approach everything else.

"These things take time Quinnie. You can't expect instant friendship right away." I shake my head no.

"It's not that. I know that will take time. She may never want to be friends with us. It's … It's something else that we noticed yesterday but should have before." Tears form in my eyes, and the worried expression on my mom's face is enough for me to know she is taking what I say very serious. "Someone is physically hurting her." I whisper it so low that I am not even sure my mom hears it. Until I look up at her and see the worried look that matches mine. "How do you know? Are you sure? Do you know who?"

"I just know and I don't" Running my fingers through my hair, I realized I started something that I'm not sure how to explain. "Quinnie, you can't go around saying something like that without proof. It could…" Shaking my head at my mom, I know I need to explain better.

"Mom, just listen okay? Let me tell you why, and you can tell me afterwards if you think I'm wrong. Please" Taking a deep breath, I go over everything that I saw today and explain about what happened before Rachel left the Cheerio's locker room.

Tears running down both our faces, my mom takes my hand and squeezes it. "I believe you. Do you think it's her fathers?" Nodding my head to say yes, I am at a loss of what to do now. "Ok" Getting up my mom, gives me a kiss to the top of my head before reaching for her purse.

"What are you doing?" I ask wiping away some of my tears.

"I'm going to make some phone calls. " She says already scrolling through her phone.

"Calls to who? Shouldn't we call the police or something?"

"I know some people that can give me better advice on how to go about this. Her parents are Leroy and Hiram correct?" I nod to confirm. "Leroy is part of the Lima Police Department, and I'm sure a call to them will not get very far."

My mom steps out of the room to make her phone calls. For the first time I don't like the idea of being alone in our home. I need the comfort that she provides.

"Ok…. Great…. Yes I will see you tomorrow." I look up as my mother enters the kitchen again. After disconnecting her call and placing her phone back in her bag, she looks at me with what I hope is hopeful news.

"Lucy, I need you to get Rachel to our house tomorrow after school. Can you do that?" Thinking of all the possible ways to accomplish that legally is very hard. She doesn't trust me. "Why?"

"The person I just got off the phone with is going to be here. She can help her if she is in actual trouble. Unfortunately, we can't just go banging on the Berry's front door or call the police because of Leroy working with them."

"Ok… But what if she isn't at school tomorrow?" Clinching my fist, I remember how scared she was because she was late. "She was so scared because she was late getting home, mom."

"Rachel is in your first period correct?" Nodding yes "Call me or text me if she not there right away. Ok?"

"Ok"

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Focusing on anything but pain is an impossible. My back must be a blood soaked mess. I just want to die, so the pain will go away.


End file.
